I just hope that these confessions will only be disclosed when I’m already gone from this to a better… Or is it for a worse one? It is better not to stick so many thoughts around this issue, although I find it curious that only in this age and situation in which I meet, because I was undeceived by the physician, is that questions like this have come to have space in my head. Being that I do not know whether it is by maturity, feeling of guilt or fear that I am mistaken about what I have always thought about the existence of God.
Being me at the age of thirty, I made myself pastor of the church Jesus is the way. I needed money and the job proposals I found back then didn’t give me enough to afford my expenses. Being that it is between adolescence and adulthood that the human being feels the god of all the desires that must be made, because in passing this phase we become a storyteller for our children and grandchildren, however I never told any of them what AG Now I’m going to report it.
In my worship was made a kind of brainwashing in the faithful. First it was necessary to make them believe that in no other place than the temple where I preached, it was possible to find the truth. So I researched a lot to find the flaws of other belief systems and point them out as false houses of God and when I found not much convincing in some of these belief systems, I misrepresented the dogmas or demonized their rituals and the faithful Believed in everything I said because they were poor people, many were functional illiterate, there were also unstudied people who came from the countryside to live in the city. So it was easy to convince them of anything, for they saw me as the Spokesman of God on Earth. I did it without feeling the slightest remorse because I’ve always been an athean. So for me it was even fun to play Shepherd who did what he wanted with his blind sheep. Second, it was necessary to manipulate them to believe that God’s blessings were only possible to be attained through the exchange, that is, “it is giving that one receives.” It was a lot of money that entered the church and pastor Joseph who helped me had no way of knowing what was raised a day, because he had other commitments. So if I raised a thousand reais, I’d take 500, and I’d enjoy my life by attending the bregues in distant towns where I used to preach. Third, it was necessary to mercantilize salvation. Here was where the money most entered because in the face of a person’s affliction for being ill, she would give all the savings in exchange for words that would ensure that Jesus Christ awaited her with open arms in paradise. And that’s when I created the key to the door of heaven. It was a key made of bronze that if the person bought it. Now it was just waiting for God’s call to go open the door to heaven. This key cost 500 reais and I was able to sell one or two each month. It was an easy and extremely lucrative job. Until one of these days, I had a dream in which loved ones my white dresses watched me with a look of reproof and a man also in White came near me and issued a message that sounded inside my head: “Woe to him who does harm to one of my little ones” . And then appeared on my mental screen the cover of a book whose title was: “Homoaffectivity-The Lost Secret of Eden” by an author named Jan Val Ellam and a voice in my head said: “Read and the truth will be revealed unto you.” And after that night, every day these words again sound in my thoughts and I am very afraid of really being there after death, for I have made many faithful pursue and hate the LGBTT +. Only after reading the work, I saw that there is nothing wrong with these brothers and sisters.
Rodrigo Santana Costa is a teacher and writer. He published the work: “Clarecer” in verse and prose.
